The Shadow: Exploring our Dark Side (part 2 of 2)
More about shadow work and how we can reclaim energy
Shadow Work
There are a number of techniques we can use to work with our shadow. All of them are worth trying. Some may be more effective for you than others. Each magician can find ones that work best for their particular situation. The goal of shadow work is not necessarily to eliminate the shadow, at least not at first. Some shadow tendencies may be serving a purpose in our lives, or they may be difficult to remove. The basic purpose of shadow work is to become aware of it, to acknowledge it. Once awareness is achieved, then you can decide what to do with it.
Self examination
Firstly, we must be willing to look at ourselves and be honest about what we see and feel. As initiates, we follow the Greek maxim to “know thyself”, but this understanding isn’t possible without complete honesty. Keeping a magical diary of daily practices and reactions to the work is one solid method for self examination. The supreme value of these written records becomes clear over time.
In pursuit of the shadow, we should expect to be unsettled. The parts of ourselves that lurk in the shadows are hidden precisely because we are uncomfortable with them. Looking at ourselves in this way can be a challenge, and we can choose to meet that challenge in different ways. Meet it all head on & not giving a fuck, or approach it obliquely with subtle force, or break off one small bit at a time. No matter the approach, one must always work with persistence and positivity. Adopt an attitude of impartial acceptance of whatever you see, or feel, or remember, and keep going even when it isn’t easy.
Remember the saying “When you are going through hell, keep going.”
Awareness & Mindfulness
Being aware of what we are thinking, saying, doing at all times is a critical practice. The more we can be ‘in the moment’ and present at all times, the more likely it will be that we become aware of our shadow and any projections that we are acting out. The practice of saying Will, for example, can reinforce that sense of presence and mindfulness. Turning mundane activities like washing dishes or teeth brushing into mindfulness exercises is a good way to promote this state of mind.
Humor
Author and chaplain William Miller refers to several techniques for examining the shadow, including getting feedback from others, looking at our projections, our slip-ups, our dreams and fantasies, and humor. Humor is of special interest. Being aware of what we find amusing and why can lead to important insights about our shadow.
Remember: It is the Shadow that laughs.
Three clergy from a small town were in the habit of meeting each week to talk over their common concerns. Over time, they became very trusting of each other to the point where each one felt they could confess their greatest sins to the group and thus share their guilt. “I confess that I steal money from the offering,” said the first. “That is bad,” said the second, who then went on to confess, “My gravest sin is that I am having an affair with a woman in the next town.” The third clergy, hearing the wretchedness of the other two declared, “Oh my brothers, I must confess that my most terrible sin is gossip, and I can’t wait to get out of here!”
We laugh at the shame of the two clergy who have been exposed, out of sympathy for their plight and relief that it wasn’t us who were caught. We also laugh along with the third clergy who will gleefully and sinfully expose the other two.
Slapstick humor is another classic example of how we laugh at the pain of others, in a repressed form of sadism, perhaps, or in sympathetic relief that the pain is not ours.
Projection work
What are projections and how do we know we are projecting on others? Ken Wilber describes projection this way:
“If a person or thing in our environment informs us, we probably aren’t projecting; on the other hand, if it affects us, chances are that we are a victim of our own projections.”
He goes on to describe a process of discovery where one identifies an area of unwanted thought or behavior, and having acknowledged it, then takes responsibility for it. This breaks down the illusion that the projection is something outside ourselves.
One of Wilbur’s examples deals with feelings of anxiety. Wilbur suggests a personal experiment where one gets in touch with the shadow by taking on the attitude of the shadow: assuming the exact opposite of our conscious desires, feelings, wants, beliefs. Another is to deliberately increase one’s symptoms, rather than avoiding or decreasing them, to the point where you realize that you are the one doing it to yourself.
Projections that are highly emotional have a direction, and once it has been identified and analyzed, the direction can be reversed. The reversal leads to integration of the shadow/projection. Projections of traits don’t often have a direction in the same way that emotions do, so integration is simpler but not particularly easier.
Soror Meral (Phyllis Seckler) said this when she wrote about the nature of projections:
“Because this matter of projection is so common and so little understood by most people, I would suggest that you make a record of the times when you expected others to act as you think and feel. Why do someone’s actions make you angry? You would not be angry if you did not have the tendency in yourself, for we do not recognize that which we have never had as a part of ourselves. All events which cause a strong emotional or mental reaction can be analyzed as showing yourself to yourself. Take the responsibility for your reactions, for this is your mirror to nature and not controlled and understood, if the aspirant to initiation does not know the nature of his own Being, then he is indeed in a dangerous position when his own demons come home to roost.”
A strategy to work with projections is through a three step process. Each step is progressive and builds on the work of the previous step.
Step 1: become aware of projections after the fact, through journaling or therapy
Step 2: acknowledge projections as they arise
Step 3: actively control or eliminate projections in progress
The first step is essential. The second step can sometimes passively defuse the projection’s effects once it is acknowledged. The third step is an act of will that requires the projection to be in progress and acknowledged before an attempt to control it can be made.
Art
Robert Bly suggests using different types of creative expression to confront our shadow. The use of language is particularly effective, he says, especially when it precisely used. Journaling, essays, poetry and other forms of writing are good tools. Painting, drawing, carving, sculpture, really any kind of art can assign an image to the hidden shadow and bring it to the light of consciousness.
Ritual
In ritual, we generate energy that can be used to shed light on ourselves and to correct imbalances when we invoke our highest aspirations and bring energy from the highest of the four worlds down into actualization within ourselves. The Middle Pillar ritual or similar practice is a way to center oneself and find balance. The pentagram ritual invokes the four archangelic beings who preside over the elements and generates energy and balance. Look at your record of Resh practices over the past several weeks for clues to how best to regain balance. These are ritualized methods that can help to center ourselves, reveal our shadows, or give clues about how to deal with them.
A passage from Liber Librae illustrates this.
“Learn first — Oh thou who aspirest unto our ancient Order! — that Equilibrium is the basis of the Work. If thou thyself hast not a sure foundation, whereon wilt thou stand to direct the forces of Nature? Know then, that as man is born into this world amidst the Darkness of Matter, and the strife of contending forces; so must his first endeavour be to seek the Light through their reconciliation.”
What to do with the Shadow
Letting Go
From the earliest teachings of the Buddha, the practitioner has been encouraged to go against the stream of conventionality, to look at everything in experience including that which one would rather avoid or ignore. The way which the Buddha discovered was based on opening to all, including the "shadow," to see fearlessly what is there, and to integrate lost shadow material as a source of spiritual richness. A central meditative strategy of Buddhism has always been quiet sitting, allowing the unclaimed features of the inner life to arise to awareness. Then, following the specific instructions of meditation practice, these negativities, sufferings, and anxieties are recognized and allowed to dissipate on their own.
Using the shadow
One example: the Marie Kondo story
Marie Kondo is a well known champion of tidying up one’s environment, keeping only those things which bring joy. What people may not know about Marie Kondo is that, from a very early age, Marie had a compulsion for throwing things away. This compulsion was her shadow, and it got so bad that she had a nervous breakdown at one point. After the breakdown, she realized that there are two sides to throwing things away. There was the elimination of things, and the keeping of others. This realization led to her to change her focus, concentrating on the keeping of things, and only those things that bring one joy.
This is a good example of someone who had strong shadow behavior that had become a negative influence in her life, but who was able to switch the narrative and turn it into a positive. The behavior itself didn’t change. Her perspective on what she was doing and why she was doing it changed. She used the shadow for her benefit.
Reclaiming the Shadow
In closing, I would like to pass along the Buddhist story of Milarepa, a 12th century Tibetan yogi, that illustrates one way of reclaiming the power of shadow elements.
Milarepa had learned great black sorcery in order to get revenge on his uncle, but having successfully killed his uncle and all his uncle’s family, he couldn’t face what he had done. To try to repair his broken karma, Milarepa became the student of a Buddhist teacher named Marpa. After learning many secret teachings, Milarepa left and undertook a lifelong retreat in the mountains, living in a cave. It was here that he was confronted one night by five demons.
At first Milarepa politely asked the demons to leave, but they laughed and became more menacing. He then tried to fight the demons with his sorcery and an exorcism but they became more threatening. He tried to pacify them with the great compassion of his Buddhist teachings, but still to no avail. Finally, Milarepa realized that the demons were projections of his own mind and that seeing them as external demons was an obstacle to his success.
He sang a song in which he asserted his lineage of wakefulness and the mastery of his own mind. He invited the demons to stay with him and to receive his hospitality. He also challenged them to a friendly contest of teachings, saying “Ye ghosts and demons, enemies of the Dharma, I welcome you today! It is my pleasure to receive you! I pray you, stay; do not hasten to leave; We will discourse and play together. Although you would be gone, stay the night; We will pit the Black against the White Dharma, And see who plays the best. Before you came, you vowed to afflict me. Shame and disgrace would follow if you returned with this vow unfulfilled.”
When Milarepa invited the demons to stay, he displayed the four enlightened stages of skillful, appropriate action, called the four karmas. These karmas are strategies for working with intractable situations, whether they be in practice or in daily life. These methods are based on "not accepting, not rejecting" in the sense that the most threatening situations are excellent opportunities for practice.
The first karma is pacifying, in which one opens fully to negativity. Milarepa did this by saying "I welcome you today!" When we open to the shadow in this way, we reverse the habitual tendency to ignore or hide it. Next, in an action called enriching, Milarepa said “It is my pleasure to receive you!” Taking the attitude of enriching, we inspire the unacknowledged aspects of self with confidence by creating an atmosphere of celebration, free from aggression. We affirm the power of the shadow rather than discounting it as we usually would do. Then, with the third karma of magnetizing, one draws the negativity toward him or her with an actual invitation: "Do not hasten to leave; we will discourse and play together ... stay the night." In this way, the shadow is charmed into relationship and its power is harnessed.
The last karma is the final resort for an accomplished yogin like Milarepa. Often the shadow material does not require this final step, for its ferocity has rested primarily on our denial of it, and the inviting nature of the first three karmas removes its threatening qualities. However, when negativities are entrenched in conceptual justifications and defenses, we must employ destroying, in which we challenge and threaten the crystallized, residual negativity with extinction. Milarepa did this with the challenge, "we will pit the Black against the White Dharma, and see who plays the best." Here he was referring to the black magic and sorcery of his past training, his central shadow, directly confronted by the white magic of Buddhism, which can accommodate and purify the black.
Having challenged the demons, Milarepa arose and rushed with great confidence directly at them. They shrank in terror, rolling their eyes and trembling violently, and then swirled together into a single vision and dissolved. With this, the destroying was completed, and Milarepa the black sorcerer was reclaimed by Milarepa the white sorcerer.
Sources:
Meeting the Shadow, Zweig & Abrams, 1991.
“On the Nature of Projections”, Phyllis Seckler
“The Life of Milarepa”, https://buddhism.lib.ntu.edu.tw